Is He The One For Me???

Today I went home late at night. I have been talking with Mary and we are talking about what life is…. What is expected and what is unexpected….

I have heard many stories about marriage from other people. It makes me worried and its frighten me to hear all this. After years of marriage…in the end after we are in the age of 40…we got divorce…. Its hurts the woman to be divorce in that kind of age. :’(

When I went home…I read a post of Mia. I feel sorry for her (Really…I am). It makes me worried about my own future…

And now…at this moment…. I am thinking…Is he really the right person for me? Will he still be with me after years and years of marriage…I am getting paranoid of it.

People around me (that I know..) got divorce after 10-30 years of marriage and living together….. What really happen actually?

In the end…I am stranded in my own thinking. And hoping for the great future with him….Amin….

Still In Love With You…My Dear Husband….

Adopted Baby…

After a few days I lost my baby….One of my friend called me( she called me on 04.10.2008) to tell me that someone want to give me a baby to adopt…I am so excited… I was like… “Yahoooo…..Baby…Baby….” My friend said the baby is still 7 months old…So, I have time to save up a bit of money for the coming baby…

And then…jeng jeng jeng….few days after that….(i think 14.10.2008), my friend called me, asking for my help since she’s at miri at that time. She told me that girl is going to give birth…What the F***!!!! I am the one who is panicking here….Oh Shit…

I send her to the hospital and while I wait for her..I went to hua ho to buy some of the baby’s stuff….I am ssooooooo excited…. And the baby is born. Its a girl. Her name is Siti Adriana… Nice name huh…

Ct Adriana..Cute Eyh...

Later at night..The doctor call me to talk something with me. The doctor said the baby was gone. They try to save the baby as much as possible. :’( The baby have no oxygen in her body that makes her more weak. :’(

The next morning…Me, abg and my friend went to the mosque and ask someone to help us on burial… :’(

Its been a sad week to me. I feel like I lost two of my baby in one time. It hurts me a lot. I feel like its too much for me to handle. Luckily, I have a nice and cool husband who always there for me. And my family, who always support me.

Thank you to my family, my husband, my two friend and that girl. Thank you for giving me hope and strength to live on. Lov u all… Mwahhhzzz…

Ct Adriana

I am Pregnant AGAIN!!!

June 2008… I have been wondering why my PMS coming late than usual… Then, something occurred my mind. Hmmm…..I straightaway going to the nearest supermarket and bought pregnancy test (PT). And its positive. I can’t believe my eyes. I keep thinking..maybe the PT is not good. I will buy another one. I rush to the supermarket once more and test it again after few hours. It still positive.

I am so excited. I quickly call my husband and tell him a good news. He is very excited. After we lost our unborn baby…we got the new one as a replacement. I am happy for it. Thank you Allah….

Life Goes On…

It’s been a week since I lost my baby… I have to go on. Time will not awaits me. I need to catch up with my life right now.

Last night, my husband gone back to his workplace. I am gonna be left alone AGAIN. I cry and I cry whenever I remember my baby.

I hate being left alone here. When I am alone, it just keep getting into my head. My baby. My baby. And I will start crying again.

Oh God…please give me a strength to face all this. Amin….